ONEderland has been oh-so-close yet oh-so-far-away for nearly a month now. I dance close to 206 and most recently 205, and then jump back up to 207, 208 and even 209. I haven’t gone over 209, which is nice, but dammit, I was really hoping to see 199 or below by now. Weight loss stalls really effing suck!

I hope I’m not overeating. That sounds ridiculous, but lately I have noticed that I’m filling up on food faster. I’m not eating larger quantities or more often, so I don’t know what gives. Maybe it’s because I’m drinking so much water in between. I’d cut back on the water consumption, except that it’s, you know, summer, and staying hydrated when it’s hot is always a good thing.

But believe me, I’m not having a total bitchfest here. I’ve lost 126 lbs. in a year and two months, and 75 of those pounds came off since surgery, so I’m not complaining. I’m counting my blessings, and each and every day I find something new related to my weight loss to marvel at. Most recently being the fact that I am now in a SIZE FOURTEEN HELLO. Fourteen is HUGE (no pun intended), because it means that once I hit a 12, I will no longer be shopping in Fashion Bug’s plus size section. Then I can look REALLY good for any event I’m invited to — a birthday party, Christmas party, baby shower, whatever! AHHH!

Just today a guy (a really cute one, truth to be told) saw me heading to the Panera Bread entrance, and despite me being at least twenty feet away, he waited and held the door for me. It was very polite and sweet, and I thanked him for being so nice. But as we headed inside and went our separate ways, I couldn’t help but to simmer just a bit. If I had been a hundred pounds heavier, would he have held the door? I won’t say “probably not!”, but I will say that maybe he would have, maybe he wouldn’t have.

I can’t tell you how often I was discriminated against when I was heavier, because to be honest with you I didn’t really pay attention at the time, since it was just a way of life. But now I can definitely see a difference. Women don’t just dismiss me for being seriously fat and thus no competition. Men don’t just see through me, or worse yet, insult or mock me on the sly (not sly enough though, since I almost always picked up on it). People in general are nicer to me. They respect me more.

Whether or not obesity is caused by a person or is heavily influenced by genetics, it’s wrong for a society to treat a person as a lesser being because of their weight. It doesn’t matter if I’m 120 lbs. or 520 lbs. I deserve basic respect and courtesy. What does it say about a society, about a person, if they can’t see that or follow through on it?

I’m currently listening to a woman completely bash a co-worker of hers who had gastric bypass. She just said — and this is a direct quote –

“I saw Susan* at the baby shower by the baby gifts table. She went from being fat and looking her age to being skinnier and looking older. She started having hair issues and her skin got loose. She was just so gross looking afterwards!”

*Name changed to protect the innocent from the ignorant.

It disgusts me that people are SO wrapped up with looks that they don’t stop to realize that health trumps beauty every single time. Not only that, but I’m sure this woman had equally judgmental and cruel thoughts about her co-worker when she was morbidly obese.

Damned if you, damned if you don’t.