That Fat Chick

There is no such thing as “stopping” protein shakes!!!

Jenn — Sun, 29 Apr 2012 20:06:45 +0000

Last week a neighbor of mine, who was two days away from her gastric bypass surgery date, asked me what I did for protein most days. I told her I did 2-3 protein shakes per day to make sure that I was meeting my minimum (60) “and then some” (my ideal is 80-90), and any food I consumed just provided bonus protein. She seemed surprised, and went on to tell me that most post-ops she had talked to had “already stopped” their protein. I told her flat out that realistically, there is no stopping protein shakes, because there’s no way we can consume enough food — without eating around the clock and risking stretching out our stomach pouches by overeating — in order to get the protein that we need. In which case, what’s the point in having had the surgery in the first place?

You may not like the protein shakes you’re drinking prior to surgery, to prepare your stomach and intestines for surgery, but get used to it. I did. I’ll be three years post-op this coming November, and you know what? I still don’t like protein shakes. But I treat them like I treat the vitamins I take four times a day: essential to my health. I use protein powders that offer 20g-30g of whey isolate protein per scoop, mix the powder with 4-6 oz of cold water, then drink the shakes as quickly as possible. I do this two to three times per day, and I move on. I don’t like it, but I don’t hate it. It is what it is, and I do what I have to do in order to stay healthy.

I’m going to float away.

Jenn — Mon, 02 Apr 2012 13:48:33 +0000

Lately I’ve been trying very hard to curb the urge to graze, because grazing is the quickest way to sabotage weight loss or even weight maintenance. Grazing is a bad habit that can’t always be shaken, even if you are several years post-op. So instead of grazing on food, I’ve been grazing on water. The up side: water has zero calories, and I am quite thoroughly hydrated. And I know I’m getting the recommended amount of water (64oz + 1 additional 8 ounces for every 25 lbs of extra weight) , according to Bariatric Choice). The down side: both my bladder and our toilet is getting quite the workout. Seriously, I am going to the bathroom at least once an hour! Is it possible to wear out your bladder? *horrified* I surely hope not.

The truly sucky part of having to dash to the bathroom so much is being interrupted – or squirming uncomfortably – while watching movies, enjoying massages in Huntington Beach, waiting for your nails to dry (true story), or while spending quality time with your significant other (there’s nothing like putting the brakes on a sexual romp because you have to pee!).

Who needs a scale?

Jenn — Fri, 30 Mar 2012 13:38:05 +0000

Jenn does.

I really wish I could rely on the fit of my clothes, as well as the results of counting calories and fat grams daily, to know that I’m on track. But dammit, I’ve become obsessed with numbers – especially the ones in my weight. Before I got my shit together and decided once and for all that I was sick of being over 300 lbs (and also sick of being over 200 lbs, but at the time the 300+ lb weight took precedence), I only weighed myself every couple of weeks, and when I did it was only because dread and curiosity got the better of me.

Did I tell you that right before Christmas my scale broke? I went a week without knowing my weight, and I was going nuts not knowing.

My replacement scale’s battery died well over a week ago, and right now I’m so busy with other things that my general mindset is, “Fuck it”. My clothes fit, I’m taking in the right amount of vitamins and the right amount of protein, and I’m still monitoring my calorie/fat gram intake (I usually focus on the latter more than the former, because I reach my max fat grams long before my max calories).

But a 9V battery is on my shopping list, because I’d like the reassurance that I’m still within 5 lbs of being 160 lbs. I’ve been fluctuating between 162 and 165 for the last two months. I better still be there!

A quick & easy list of protein sources

Jenn — Mon, 19 Mar 2012 22:26:29 +0000

Protein, protein, protein. As a post-op gastric bypass patient, protein is all I really think about when it comes to food – and even when it comes to waking up in the morning (thinking ahead to breakfast), or during the mid-afternoon slump when I want to nap, but what I need is more fuel for my body. With that said, here’s my personal go-to list of protein sources, in no particular order:

Protein powder (mix with water, or with milk for added protein (milk has 1 gram of protein per ounce) and calcium – but use low-fat or fat-free!)
Protein cereal (I like Kay’s Naturals Better Balance Protein Cereal)
Yogurt (especially greek)
Low-fat mozzarella cheese (true story: Target’s Market Pantry brand of low-fat mozzarella string cheese is lower in fat and higher in protein!)
Eggs
Beans (pre-made taco soup, chili, soup, etc.)
Nuts (fatty though, so I consume these perhaps once a month?)

Fifth row.

Jenn — Mon, 19 Mar 2012 22:18:34 +0000

A little over a year ago, I bought a studded belt. Well, it’s not exactly studded, but “grommetted”. There’s a double row of grommets every inch and a half or so. Here’s exactly what the belt looks like (I think I purchased mine at Kmart, of all places):

When I first bought the belt, I was able to fasten it on the second to last set of grommets – so almost as loose as I could go. Now I’m on the fifth. I’m moving on up, in a good way. It’s nice to have the belt to “measure” myself by, because stupid me never bothered to do before measurements. Argh! I really wish I did. I’d love to know my “before” measurements of my upper arms, upper thighs, neck, bust (though I do kind of know that – 46G to 36D), waist, hips, etc. I guess I would have known if I went to buy a plus size bridesmaid dress or other “specialty” dress. But since I wore mainly jeans and loose-fitting shirts, I didn’t have to worry about specific areas of the body and their measurements. But enough of that. You know what’s also nice? Not having to buy a new belt every time I drop 1-2 pants sizes! This belt will be with me a long time, since there are grommets along the entire length of it (and also because I only want to drop another ten pounds or so).

Repeat 100 times: you are not as fat as you think you are.

Jenn — Mon, 19 Mar 2012 22:10:33 +0000

I am fitting comfortably into size 11 jeans. I’m wearing one of two size medium shirts that fit a little loosely. I fit into a size small cami (bought for the purpose of wearing beneath a sweater-like shrug…thing. I don’t know how to describe it, but it looks a lot like this, only the sleeves are a little longer, and it’s bright green.), and I didn’t explode out of it like the Jenncredible Hulk (full credit to the talented Jen Lancaster for that line).

Yet I still find myself reaching for the XLs, and even tentatively eyeing up the 1Xes. Cut it out, self.

It’s ring re-sizing time (again).

Jenn — Tue, 13 Mar 2012 14:29:44 +0000

In the summer of 2010 my husband had my wedding band, engagement ring, and mother’s ring (which I subsequently lost *cry*) re-sized – from 9.5 to 6.5. That was, let’s see…45ish lbs ago? I’m definitely due for another ring re-sizing, but I’m holding off until I get to my “new” goal weight of 150 (but I’m focusing on 160 first) before paying another $200ish for the re-sizing of several rings.

Weight loss changes everything about what you wear and how you wear it. I was eyeing a few pretty titanium bracelets a few years back, and I am so glad that I didn’t buy them – I can’t imagine paying extra for 9″ titanium bracelets, then turning around and paying to have those additional 2″-3″ removed a few years later! I think this summer I’ll pick out a nice, normal-sized titanium bracelet as a gift to myself. Hmm. Maybe I’ll browse Pinterest today to see what kind of pretty bracelets there are to be had.

Cleaning out my closet (again).

Jenn — Tue, 13 Mar 2012 02:41:13 +0000

Prior to having weight loss surgery, I was required to lose 5% of my body weight in order to qualify for the actual surgery (this was to show the insurance company that I was committed to making the nutritional and lifestyle changes required by the surgery). Well, I was so worried that I wouldn’t lose enough that I went a little overboard. Instead of losing 16 lbs, I lost 44.4. That’s right, almost 50 lbs. I was 331.6 lbs at my heaviest, and on the morning of my surgery I was 286.6.

One thing that stands out to me now, rather vividly, is that at the start of my weight loss surgery journey I was a tight size 26 (that’s the cut-off even for plus size prom dresses, so in a lot of cases I was SOL when it came to cute plus size clothes). The morning of surgery I was a loose size 24. It took nearly 50 lbs for me to drop a clothing size or so.

In contrast, this time last year I was 30 lbs heavier, and two clothing sizes bigger. My mind still struggles to wrap itself around the concept that the less you weigh, the less weight it takes to get from one clothing size to another. This was glaringly apparent to me last Wednesday morning, when I mindlessly grabbed a pretty mustard-yellow pea coat from my closet to wear that morning. It’s a Merona 2XL, which fits more like an 1X (Merona’s stuff always seems to run a size or so smaller than whatever the label reads, at least in plus size stuff). When I got it last year, it fit snugly, and by summer it would have fit just right. This time? It was loose. Unflatteringly, billowingly so. See for yourself:

I cleaned out my closet the other day, and that coat I set aside to hopefully sell (it was $80!!!), but if I can’t sell it, I’ll donate it, just like I donate everything else. Next up is my warm weather drawers – t-shirts, shorts, and the like. I also have a few cute dresses that may also hit the donate pile. There are two bright sides to all of this: I’m donating clothes because I’m too small for them. And, low-income women in my community will be the lucky recipients of new or nearly new clothing that is stylish, fashionable, comfortable, and in excellent condition.

It’s too big. Um, what?

Jenn — Sun, 11 Mar 2012 05:21:30 +0000

“It’s too big” is a statement I never thought would come out of my mouth in terms of clothing. But these days, more often than not, I’m having to flip past clothing on racks, or return them to racks after trying them on (either in the store or at home) because they’re too big. Too big. Who’d have thought that day would come for me? I certainly didn’t think it would ever come. I’ve been within 5 lbs of my goal weight for a few months now, and am pretty much satisfied with where I’m at (though part of me wouldn’t mind getting out of the 11s/12s and into 8s/9s in order to be a single digit clothing size, much like I am in tops).

Plus size clothing, whether it be jeans, hoodies, underwear or even prom dresses, seem to be much more mainstream these days (especially at Target, a store that used to be really bad about not having plus size, and a limited selection of one-size-too-small plus size). And that’s a GOOD thing. Believe me, clothing designers and anti-fat people, clothes not being available in a big enough size generally is not a big enough motivator, on its own, to get a person to lose weight. Part of my unhappiness at 300+ lbs was not being able to wear cute, stylish clothes, but I made do with what I found, and did a lot with cleavage-revealing clothing and awesome makeup and accessories to help make up the “deficit” I presumed I had.

Maybe one of these days I’ll lose the Fat Girl Vision so I’ll stop picking up sizes that are too big from me, even though when I eyeball them while they’re still on the hanger I’m doubtful about them fitting me!

Suicide by corn muffins

Jenn — Mon, 05 Mar 2012 23:34:47 +0000

I can add a new food item to the list of foods that will make me dump: corn muffins. It’s not the sugar, or the calories, but the carbs. Ugh. High carbs = high sugar conversion = miserable Jenn. And since this last surgery and the loss of a foot of small intestine, I’ve definitely gotten more sensitive to sugar in my system. Prior to this last surgery I may have been able to consume the corn muffin I ate tonight (with just a thin pat of butter) and have been fine. But since I did have the surgery? Not a chance. I am miserable. My intestines are cramping, I’m nauseous, cold, shaky, dizzy, lightheaded, and my heart is racing. In terms of dumping, I’ve got the works going on. :/

Note to self: watch the carbohydrates!