Last night I tried to explain to my husband how being so overweight affects my life. I don’t think he really got it, because his response to the situation was to make a mockery of everything I was telling him. He trivialized my feelings and the struggles I’ve had with my weight, self image and how I am treated by society, and then on top of it all, he got angry at me for my inability to exercise beyond vigorous walking or gentle aerobics. He accused me of having a pity party and not doing anything. He also had the nerve to compare my weight problem with his past of having longer than normal haircuts and ratty t-shirts, and being made fun of for it. As you very well know, it takes just days to get a new wardrobe and a better hair cut, while it can take years to shed a hundred pounds or more, and the stigma that remains with you.
It was all very hurtful to deal with, and has taught me a valuable lesson: my husband just doesn’t get it. And rather than risk being hurt by his attitude again, I won’t confide in him. I’ll just handle the support aspect myself with support groups, surgery and then recovery.
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I wish I had the words, but I don’t. However, I do have hope. Want some? We’re out here for you. The bloggers on this journey share all kinds of crap and totally “Get It”. We may have people in our lives that don’t get it, but you know what? We will persevere without them. We are strong. Each of us has taken a huge step to get healthy. We have felt the ridicule, the loss of breath, aching joints, staring at ourselves in the mirror, the struggles to building up our exercise slowly, so as not to damage ourselves due to the extra weight. We’re still here, we’re not going anywhere and we will support each other, uplift each other AND WE WILL SUCCEED!
So we’re here for you. When you needs us…let us know.
I can completely relate to this post. I have tried several times to talk with my husband about my emotional/weight issues, and the conversation always ends up about him somehow! I always find myself fluffy his feathers and reassuring him about what a great person he is. HUH!? He takes my problems personally for some reason; bad husband = fat wife? Whatever!!! This isn’t about you Mister. Get over yourself! I have also battled with bulimia for years, and sometimes when I express how full I feel after eating, he suggests I get rid of it. He REALLY doesn’t get it. So, I turn to all of you in Bloggyland and my very best friend who is fighting the same battle. Good luck to you.
I am sorry you had this experience with your hubby. Please remember there are plenty of us here who will always understand and respect your feelings.
you are aware of this resource I hope:
http://www.obesityhelp.com/forums/LapBand/a,messageboard/board_id,5359/