It’s me again
Posted: 3/23/08 at 9:46pmHi! It’s been a few days, but I haven’t dropped off the planet or anything so catastrophic. I have just been busy, taking care of this and that, and then preparing for Easter. Happy Easter everyone! 
I’m excited now that my info session is just one week away. The night before April 1st will be here before I know it!
Yesterday, while out with my family, I made a stop at a gas station for some gas. While I was there, I made a run into the adjacent convenience store for a quick on-the-run lunch for myself and those with me. While waiting at the register, three hot dogs and a bottle of juice in hand, I glanced out the windows of the store and saw a young guy, probably around my age, looking in. His sight landed on me, and I could see the censure and ridicule in his eyes as he smirked, then nudged the two guys standing next to him. They all turned around and looked in at me, hot dogs in hand, and laughed and jostled one another. I knew what they were thinking and saying: I was buying the hot dogs for myself, I probably ate that and more in one sitting. I assumed a haughty stance and look on my eye and refused to give any attention to them.
Despite being very familiar with insults and ridicule, having dealt with it for so many years, being accustomed doesn’t take 100% of the sting out of it. I look forward to the day when I can order food at a restaurant, stand in line at a convenience store or even go grocery shopping without being subjected to the judgment, condescending attitude and ridicule of others.
For the last few weeks, my husband has been suddenly cracking fat jokes. Last week, for example, we were talking about nicknames, and one of his nicknames for me - Angel. He then made some comment about this angel (me) being too fat to fly.
Tonight I asked him about how to raise the height on his desk chair. He cracked something about it not going up with my ass in it.
I’m not hurt by these comments… yet. But will I be? Is this suppressed ew-you’re-such-a-fatass rage coming through, after being held in check after all these years? Has anyone else had a significant other or family member who kind of let go of their self-restraint once they found out that you were having weight loss surgery?
Rarely, when acne treatment does not succeed, people resort to plastic surgery for the scars. This is can be done for the dimples left after liposuction as well as breast enlargement.
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The comments I have gotten have all been before I said I was going to have the surgery. I remember my Dad saying things to me since I was a little kid. My Husband says things too sometimes. The thing about that is he’s fatter than I am.
12/1/08 at 10:39 amWe are hurt by these comments even if we say we aren’t. I hate both of them a little for the things they say. I love them both very much too. To be perfectly honest… it never went to rage with me, just hurt. I didn’t realize how depressed it made me feel, so I ate my feelings and got bigger. My husband hasn’t really said much else to me since I said I was having it done. And if he starts… well I know that one day people are going to look at me and ask themselve what that thin woman is doing with that fat man….. and he’ll feel sorry for making fun.